


Be the Sword, I will be the Shield

by MidgardianNerd



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Good Parent Han Solo, Luke is a jerk, M/M, Mentions of past abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 19:08:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14551425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/pseuds/MidgardianNerd
Summary: When Poe is unable to help Ben, he is calling the only person who can reach Ben when he can't.





	Be the Sword, I will be the Shield

**Author's Note:**

  * For [idrilhadhafang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Because He Survived](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14532930) by [idrilhadhafang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang). 



> For Idrilhadhafang. 
> 
> Ben and Han's relationship gives me so many feels. And I'm all here for protective Dad Han Solo, especially if it's against Luke. 
> 
> I hope you will enjoy it!

When there was a knock on their door, Ben didn’t react. Poe threw him a look before sighing. Ben stayed all the morning sat on the couch, looking in the void, his knees against his chest. Poe couldn’t imagine what was happening in his lover’s mind and Ben was refusing to talk to him, even after Poe spent two hours cuddling Ben against him and stroking his head, trying to comfort him as much as he could after their encounter with Ben’s uncle yesterday.

Thinking about Luke Skywalker put fire in Poe’s blood. Poe never didn’t believe Ben about his family but he never thought Ben’s rocky relationship with his uncle was that much disrespectful and pure wickedness from the old man. To hear how much this man was able to destroy his wonderful boyfriend with awful lies, it was enough for Poe to make him forget everything his parents taught him. And he was sure that his mother wouldn’t have hesitated to punch this arsehole. She was smitten with Ben since Poe brang him to Yavin. Poe couldn’t really blame her. 

Poe really thought that Ben wouldn’t be that much affected by the other man. But he supposed that even if Luke was a straight abuser in Poe’s opinion, he was still Ben’s uncle and Ben was unable to just hate him, still wanting his affection, or at least his approval. Poe was so furious to see that this man had still this kind of power on Ben. 

Ben was probably as furious than him. Poe felt him turning all the night in their bed, unable to find sleep. But he didn’t seek comfort in Poe. On the contrary, he spent all the night at the other end of the bed, far away from Poe’s body and due to this fact, Poe didn’t sleep well too. He couldn’t remember a night he didn’t spend in Ben’s arms or Ben in his arms. If felt odd. And Poe didn’t like this feeling. 

Ben got out of the bed early and when Poe woke up, he was already sitting on the couch, doing nothing, losing himself in dark thoughts and refusing to Poe the right to reach him. Poe ate his breakfast alone and that was when he got his stuff in the trash that he got a surprise. There, at the top of the filth was Ben’s first novel. Poe felt his rage coming back stronger than before. How could he do that? This hard copy was so much pride for Ben. It was the accomplishment of years of hard work and a big step into recovery. It even had a special place in their bookshelves. Next to the one Ben signed for Poe at his first public reading. Luke Skywalker didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve to crush Ben’s confidence, Ben’s talent. He didn’t deserve Ben. Poe wouldn’t let him doing that without fighting back. 

Poe took out of the trash the copy, just to see that Ben ripped off a dozen of pages from it. Reading few lines from the first pages, he recognized the extract. It was the scene which gave the hardest time to Ben, the one he struggled the most with, the one he was the most worried about. The one he wasn’t still sure he should have written. Kylo killing his own father. Of course! From all the reproaches Luke made to Ben, that was the one about his father that Ben took the most at heart. He knew that Ben and his father didn’t talk about this scene. Both men were close but actually, they weren’t talking that much together or seeing each other a lot. To think that Ben was too afraid of his father’s reaction all this time, for almost two years since the publishing of TFA, it was breaking Poe’s heart. 

Poe grabbed the book and the ripped pages and he walked towards the couch, ready to ask explanations to Ben. But Ben wasn’t there anymore. Poe didn’t get time to worry because he heard the shower few seconds later. Poe sighed. It was so long since the last time Ben ran away from him, not wanting to talk about his struggles. That was Luke Skywalker did. He was making Ben regressing in his recovery. He was making Ben feel like he shouldn’t disturb people with his problems, like he wasn’t worth their time or...or their love. He was making Ben doubting Poe’s love for him. And Poe refused that. 

Maybe a little bit angry with Ben too for believing Luke Skywalker, Poe hurried towards the bathroom, ready to face his boyfriend and to put him in mind that Skywalker is far away from truth. But before he could open the door, a sound, a sound that Poe hated made him frozen. A sob. Ben was crying. Alone. Without Poe to take him in his arms. Ben wanted to hide himself to cry. Ben didn’t want Poe to know that he was crying. 

Poe put his forehead against the door, his own eyes full of tears. Why? Why didn’t he want Poe to know? Why? He never refused Poe’s comfort before. Why was Luke Skywalker so powerful? Why Poe wasn’t enough? Poe swallowed back his tears. It wasn’t about him, or about Luke. It was about Ben. Maybe he was unable to help Ben. But he knew someone who could. 

Another impatient knock got Poe out of his thoughts. The young man went opening the door. Front of him was standing Han Solo, but like Poe never saw him before. He met Ben’s father a couple of time. The old man was always with a cheeky smile on his lips, Ben had the same sometimes, and a spark of mischief in his eyes, another thing that Ben inherited from him. But now, the anger was deforming Han’s features and his whole body was tensed so much than Poe feared that if he touched him, he would explode. 

 

“Where is he?” growled Han and Poe, feeling a little bit scared, lead him to the living room as quickly as he could. 

 

* * *

 

Poe stayed away from the couch. Ben didn’t need him for the moment. Only his father could reach him. But Poe stayed close. Han was so full of rage, Poe couldn’t blame him. After he called him and explained everything what happened with Luke, he didn’t expected Han to come. At best, he thought Han would have called Ben. But to see the old man there, being there when his son needed him, it comforted Poe. As least someone from Ben’s family deserved this title. 

Ben was looking away from his father, curling up on himself. He was aware that Han was there, Poe knew it because instinctively, his boyfriend was leaning towards his father, like he knew it was someone who would never hurt him. Poe smiled softly. Seeing both of them, both of those men with their bashfulness and awkwardness when it was about their emotions, still finding way to show their mutual love to each other without talking, it was kinda fascinating. 

Han collapsed on the coffee table front of the couch. He sighed, an exhausted hand whipping off his face. Poe could see that he was trying to get over his rage for the sake of his son because he knew how bad Ben could react to negative feelings. But it was difficult for him like it was for Poe. 

 

“Hey kiddo!” whispered Han. 

 

Ben wasn’t looking at his father but the old man could see that he was listening to him. 

 

“Look at me boy! Please!” asking Han, trying to see his son’s face behind his dark hair.

Hearing his father pleading him was enough for Ben to look at him. When he saw his son’s face, Han felt his heart breaking while his blood was boiling in his own veins, his mind going full red. The last one who hurt his son that much, Han almost choked him against the wall of a court. To think that Luke, the sweet and naive kid he known almost all his life, able to hurt his own nephew, his sister’s son, it was almost enough for Han to wish he never cross his path. Except that meeting Luke lead him to Leia which gave him Ben. And never Han could wish for Ben to not be in his life. Han always felt out of place, not knowing what to do with his life. But when Ben born, when Ben appeared in his life, Han got a purpose and for the first time in his life, he knew he was exactly where he should be; with his son in his arms. 

Han grabbed his son’s legs and put back his feet on the ground. With two hands on Ben’s knees, he obligated the young boy to face him. 

 

“Listen to me Ben!” said firmly Han, pressing Ben’s knees. “I forbid you to believe what this jerk told you. He doesn’t know. He never did.” groaned Han. “He doesn’t deserve you. Get him out of your life once and for all.” 

 

Ben stayed silent and Poe wanted to believe that his father succeeded to finally make Ben accepting that Luke Skywalker should be out of his life. But Ben just broke down in tears, hiding his eyes in his hand and trying to mute himself with the other hand on his mouth.

 

“I’m sorry Dad!” sobbed Ben and Han didn’t think twice before taking him in his arms, kissing his son’s messy hair. 

 

Han tightened his embrace around his kid, rocking him against him. Ben was clinging to his shoulders and Han was impressed by the strength of his son. Han felt angrier. Ben needed so much comfort and he hated Luke to have been close to destroy every effort Ben did in the last years. Han wasn’t maybe one of those famous Skywalkers, but he was a Solo. And Ben also was a Solo. A Solo always protected what was the dearest to his heart. So Han was ready to do everything to protect Ben and everything he built which meant his career and his life with the great Poe Dameron. 

 

“I’m sorry to have killed you.” sobbed Ben. 

“What?” asked Han, confused.

 

Ben left their hug and he whipped off his nose, trying to look away from his father but Han took his jaws in his hands. 

 

“I’m listening.” said Han, his thumbs stroking Ben’s cheekbones. 

“I’m sorry to have kill you.” cried Ben, looking down. “In...in my book.” explained Ben when he saw the confused look on his father’s face. “L...Luke said that...that...that I...I wanted to...to break our...family...apart.” finished Ben, in chaotic breaths. 

Han closed his eyes and counted to ten, trying to calm himself because he was close to lash out his anger and Ben, full of his insecurities would probably think it would be against him. 

 

“You don’t have to be sorry Ben!” said Han, firmly. “You did good.” he added. 

 

Ben was moving slightly his head, denying Han’s affirmation but the old man was having none of this. He hold firmer his son’s face. 

 

“Kid!” smiled Han with emotion. “You made me a fucking hero.” he added, putting a lock of dark hair behind Ben’s ear while his son was looking at him, stunned.”And you proved to me that you were loving me as much as I love you.” 

“What?” mumbled Ben, speechless.

“Kylo didn’t kill his father from hate.” whispered Han, looking down to take one of Ben’s giant hands in his. “It was an act of love.” 

 

His son was looking at him with these same big brown eyes than the first time he opened his eyes and he saw Han above him. The young man was trying to not cry more and he was biting his lips. When he read Ben’s novel the first time, it hurt him to realize that Ben wanted him dead. But then, he remembered that his wonderful boy was seeing the world differently that most of people. So he read it again. And again and again. And every time he understood a little bit more than this Kylo killed his father because he was his last link to his heart. And when he understood that, Han cried. Today, the few doubts he had about his interpretation were dying. Because in his son’s eyes, he could see the truth. 

Han leant forwards, putting his forehead against Ben’s, his fingers sliding in Ben’s dark thick hair and he saw his son closing his eyes. 

 

“I love you Kiddo!” whispered Han. “I’m not telling you that enough but I love you.” sighed the old man.

“I love you too Dad!” answered Ben, pressing his hand around Han’s wrist, feeling Han’s pulse under his fingers. 

“Now listen to me and never forget what I will say. Alright?” asked Han, smiling when his son nodded like a small boy. “I would give my life for you, without hesitation.” said Han, hearing his son’s breath hitching. “Like Kylo”s father did. That’s what fathers do.” finished Han, stepping back so he could see his son, still closed eyes. 

 

With a pressure on Ben’s jaws, he asked him to open his eyes. Ben obeyed. 

 

“We love our sons.” claimed Han. “With all the good, and all the bad.” he added, stroking under Ben’s right eye, like Kylo’s father did before falling. 

 

He knew that Ben understood the meaning of this gesture when he closed his eyes, his head leaning into Han’s palm. Han stood up, his hand still on Ben’s cheek and he leant forward to kiss Ben’s forehead. Ben stood up also after that and Han was still amazed at how much his son changed so quickly, from a boy who needed him for everything, to a man who would soon needed him for anything. 

 

“I have nothing to offer you Ben!” said Han, smiling sadly. “Except my love. And my name.” he breathed out. “You don’t have to be a Skywalker.” 

“I am Ben Solo.” said firmly Ben, raising up his chin in defiance. 

“The best of us.” smiled proudly Han.

 

When Ben threw himself in his arms, Han gladly pressed him harder in his chest, wishing for his son to have never left his embrace, where he would have been able to protect him from monsters like Snoke, from arseholes like Luke. He has been unable to do something for Snoke but he still could do something for Luke. Han kissed his son’s hair, the promise of the last 23 years pounding in his mind. Protecting his son at all costs. 

Han stepped back and smiled softly to his son, whipping off the tears from his face. 

 

“You’re staying here. You let Poe taking care of you. And you continue to be a fucking amazing writer. Alright?” asked Han, firmly.

“Yes Sir!” nodded Ben, reminding to both of them when he was a little boy and they were playing being aboard a spaceship, Han being the captain and Ben is loyal second. 

“Where are you going?” asked Ben, shyly.

“I’m going to pay a visit to your Uncle Jerk!” said Han, a predatory smiled on his lips but the rage burning in his eyes made Ben shivering. “No objection! That’s an order.” he added when he saw Ben ready to try to convince him to think about it. “You can call me if you need me. Anytime.” he added, messing with affection Ben’s hair and the bright smile he got from Ben comforted him. The moment Ben wouldn’t need him anymore wasn’t coming too soon. 

 

* * *

 

When Ben closed the door on his father, he didn’t turn around immediately, feeling ashamed. He couldn’t face Poe after how awful he treated him all the day. Poe just tried to help and Ben just did like he was nothing. Ben took a deep breath. Knowing that his father wasn’t angry against him for killing his alias in his novel was a weight disappearing from his chest actually. Now he needed to ask forgiveness to Poe and he could begin to say  _ Good Fucking Riddance  _ to Luke Skywalker. Poe, his father, his career. That were the only things he needed, the only things he wanted for his life. 

Ben jumped slightly when he felt arms around his waist and a cheek pressing between his shoulder blades. He let out a deep breath he didn’t realize he was holding and he took Poe’s hands in his, entwining their fingers. 

 

“I’m sorry.” mumbled Ben and when he felt a kiss on his back, he knew that he was forgiven. 

“Next time, talk to me please.” whispered Poe, putting his chin on Ben’s back while his hands were stroking Ben’s chest. 

“Alright.” answered Ben.

 

Both stayed cuddling in silence, Ben enjoying the simplicity of Poe’s forgiveness and his own excuses, far away from the drama of his parents when they had arguments. It was comforting him to realize that his relationship with Poe was more similar to Poe’s parents’ than to his. It gave him hope for the future. Ben dragged Poe’s hands to his mouth and kissed them with devotion. 

 

“It was beautiful. The moment you had with your father. You were beautiful.” whispered Poe.

Ben felt the emotion stuck in his throat choking him. His relationship with his father always had been the most complex and the simpler thing at the same time in Ben’s life. And the only stability he got before meeting Poe. To...to realize that Poe wasn’t having a problem with it like Snoke did, to know that Poe would never try to break it because he knew Ben needed it and because he was loving him, it was the biggest relief for his mind. 

 

“I was certain you had a crush on my father.” chuckled Ben, wanting to distract himself from his dark thoughts and he knew that Poe would never refuse an opportunity to banter with him. 

“I didn’t mean this way!” protested Poe, slapping lightly Ben’s chest when he turned back in Poe’s arms.

“I wouldn’t mind if you have a crush on him, you know!” laughed Ben. 

“Well, you couldn’t blame me.” answered Poe, blushing. “He looks like you.” he added, shyly. 

“You...you think I look like him?” asked Ben, a little bit surprised. 

 

His father was the quintessence of charm and Ben always found his father handsome in his own way, able to woo women and men with just a smile. But never he thought he was looking like him in any way. 

“Of course you do!” claimed Poe. 

“Really?” smirked Ben and Poe put a finger on his mouth.

“You have his smirk.” answered Poe, caressing Ben’s lips with his finger. “And his lips.” he added, biting his own lower lip, his voice deepening to be more seductive. “But he isn’t more gorgeous than you.” finished Poe, fluttering his eyelashes in a naughty way. 

“Oh you fool!” laughed Ben. “You never experienced the Solo charm.” he added, a cocky smile on his lips, his burning eyes in Poe’s.

“Didn’t I?” asked Poe, fakely innocent. 

 

The young man leant up when his lover got closer to him, his hot breath brushing against his mouth. He wanted to catch these pouty lips in his and ravish his mouth to erase the last night from his memory. But Ben grabbed the waistband of Poe’s trousers before walking backwards towards their bedroom, his smile full of promise.

 

“Boy!” exclaimed Ben, licking his lips. “You didn’t even have scratch the surface of it.” he finished, already opening his shirt with his other hand, letting his chest appearing for Poe’s hungry eyes. 

Poe could believe him. He didn’t have an idea of what was really the Solo charm. But he couldn’t wait to learn. 

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: @midgardiannerd


End file.
